If you know me, I don’t read many books. Yes, I host a library show every week on the radio and it might seem like I read lots of books. The truth is I have only read 20 books in my lifetime, if that. Two books however have changed my life dramatically. The first is the Bible, especially the New Testament. This verse explains the Bibles power. Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is alive and active”. I read scripture every morning, and it continues to speak to me and change me. The other book changed my marriage. “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.
The Five Love Languages is a revolutionary book. I read it with my wife, Roxie, and we both put into practice what Mr. Chapman suggested. This book outlines five ways to express and experience love, called the “love languages,” receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. It is a simple book, easy to read and easy to understand. My kind of book!
I’m going to get a little personal here, and my wife has given permission for me to do so. I think every marriage goes through tough times, and ours was no different. The stresses of life, raising a family, work, and finances are all hard on a marriage. We were in our thirties and started to drift apart. We weren’t making each other a priority, thus both of us didn’t feel loved by the other.
The Five Love Languages entered our lives at the right time. God knows what he is doing. We studied the book in a Bible study with other couples. Long story short, we weren’t speaking each other’s love language, or taking the time to make that a priority in our lives.
For example; I always bought Roxie flowers, jewelry, and other gifts. I thought I was being good to her only to find out after she took the survey in the back of the book that receiving gifts was last on her list of the five love languages. Receiving gifts wasn’t important to her, it doesn’t speak love to her! The light bulb went on! Quality time and acts of service is what spoke love to her. I put this into practice and started spending quality time with her and I also started vacuuming the house and doing dishes. Boom! She felt loved!
For me, my love language is words of affirmation and physical touch! She put that into practice and boom! I felt loved! It is an amazing concept. Everyone has a love language, adults and children. Find out what a person’s love language is and then speak that love to them. You can find out by taking the simple survey in the back of the book. I encourage everyone to do this. I’ve attached the link for you to get started.
That concept of speaking the person’s love language was mind blowing to me. It changed everything.